is it kill and conquer?

I'm told most victories are like that... People are killed, and the territory is conquered!

But I thought it was otherwise, I thought it was just about the armies, yes I know that they are also people who end up dying... but when an army is defeated its victory. The people of that land end up working for the victorious, the wealth is that of the victorious... but is there need for still more bloodshed?

I clearly see no point in it. There might be suppression of freedom of the citizens, maybe killing of the rebellion, but helpless, non threatening individuals? I was told the old are killed, the women are targeted! Why? What's the gain? If the new place and its wealth is now yours, aren't the people there too in some sense?

I find it something very difficult to digest. Even in the armies... isn't it victory over the mind and not the body. The minute they surrender, should there be any more killing?