ignore!
the trouble does not exist.
acknowledge!
only the comforting.
bury!
deep down inside.
na not forgotten.
just sealed.
kept away from line of sight.

finding...

?? :)

oh will you wait up a little,
stay steady and not so fickle.
hold on so i can decide,
if i should run or just find a corner to hide.

or else just go faster,
i'll just give up
and declare you my master!
am i fighting against you?
is it the same old struggle
or have we started anew?

is there a point?
in trying to communicate with time?
its just like the hundred other riddles,
the conversations,
i'll say i tried to tried to solve,
to make my point,
but they just did'nt listen!

mess

and there we go again!
it starts all over..
and with each time it drags me lower!

hyderabad

was in the nawabs' city last weekend. seeing the city was not the objective of the trip but did end up seeing a little of it.
first impression: nice city :)
did have a nice grand time.(a little more to do with the company i had than the city i guess but the place does make a difference too). WIDE roads(the newer part of the city, not tht i can say that old hyderabad was cramped in terms of space), markets in old hyderabad, huge mosques,malls, the EAT SHREET and the crazy drivers. was told its growing to be the next bangalore with the amount of IT its housing. hope it does not.
all in all a fun place. :) and an even more fun trip :)

food?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w9KScEdVJ1A&NR
i'm no animal activist nor someone propagating vegetarianism.
but this! has forced me to react.
this is completely unbelievable!!!!!!
i'm not sure how i sat through the whole video!
so much for food and profits???
could this playing on tv while we sit down to dinner render the food tasteless?
or will we just hope that maybe the meat on our plate is not come there this way and carry on!?

run

tommorow's come and today's gone!

now's the past and future is here.

how fast has all this happened!

how slow are we?

maybe not at all....

maybe we fast too,

maybe not fast enough.

lots to do,

lots to learn,

want to forget,

want to give up.

its about enjoying every moment says one,

for a better tommorow says another,

but when tommorow becomes today we have yet other.

run!

reach

if there's a want,

i shall demand.

somehow the difficult and very difficult have never been a reason to not.

say its not possible and maybe there'll be quiet.

stretch,

maybe cause i do and would too.

aggression

slap the kid and he's quiet.
an arm for an arm..and people avoid committing the crime.
kill innocent and people fear you, let you do what you want to.
explode a bomb or two and the city's quiet to listen to what you have to say.
hold the knife and people give their hard earned money.
torture : blood,pain and the toughest give in.
can see it work all around...
for humans,for animals,for families,for countries,for the world,in school,in college..... everywhere!
violence: An act of aggression
works..almost always, like nothing else does.


(from old blog)

get it out

get it out!
it hurts..
it bothers..
does not let me do anything..
cant ignore it,
cant forget it,
close my eyes for the little while..
hope to let it pass by to a corner..
but no!
its sticks around..
just to trouble me more!
AAAAAAAHH!
get it out of here!
this dust particle in my eye!



(from old blog)

and another one leaves

no you dont know my deep dark secrets,
never narrated to you a single heart ache.
yes all we did was laugh.
all we did was what seemed random meaningless time pass.
we were all just killing time,
or so it felt.
never thought you were really close.
but now when its come to u moving a little away,
i'm shocked its hitting this hard.

:(

how annoyed??
very!
is this disappointment?
realisation?
helplessness?
anger?
or is it anger to keep the sadness away?
stop pushing will you?
could do with a smile,
a little care
but no!
no expectations!

really?

will it be better if i just shut up?
will it be better if i just gave up?
would it make you feel better?
to not hear from me ever...
i know you need the quiet..
maybe i do too..
but what if u get used to it?
maybe you have already..



(from old blog)

MOVE IT!!

and its almost crawled up onto you...
dont you wanna run?
dont you wanna hide?
or be yourself and give it a fight?
what are you waiting for?
why are you so still?
why are you so not bothered?
what are you doing?????????????????
wake up!
do something!!!

guess the mood!!!!!!!!!!

pause

let there be no sound,
want to feel the silence...
let there be no movement,
want to feel the warmth...
lets just pause...
absorb,
enjoy..
and though i doubt it'll ever be enough,
when its close to it..
maybe we'll resume,
to wait..
wait to feel the silence again.

night...

lie in bed to fall asleep,look out of the window and see the moon outside in the sky. the moon's white is the white tht you cant help smiling back at. marvel at the sight in the sky.. how pretty the moonlight can make the clouds around it look, giving them that strange blue-gray look. turn arnd and look at the room in the moonlight. all ready to let sweet slumber take over..and suddenly the room darkens.. turn to look at the moon blurred by the clouds that have moved over it.. ideally would have turned over and look arnd the room in the dimmed light and then fall asleep..but wait.. to want to see the bright white again..to want to smile at it again. now the clouds dont look that pretty.. want to push them away. to see the happy moon.. but it seems to take forever for them to move away. the overcast has caused the gloom to set in..then the mind drifts away to places it should not.. and the night passes away the way it should not.


(from old blog)

few more....

GOD

faith,
trust,
there for the believer,
the all knowing,
the omnipresent,
the never seen,
the feared,
the worshiped,
the explanation for the unknown!
for me...
faith,
trust,
there for me,
the all knowing,
the omnipresent,
the one who takes fear away,
the one who gives an unexplained confidence,
the one who works magic,
the one who's favorite child is me,
the one who i wait for,
to set it right.....

wht?

so wht's driving you???
we wait for
the next promotion,
the next raise,
the next job,
the better next step!
traveled a bit last 2 weeks,
saw a lot of different kind of people,
doing basic jobs of selling, sweeping ,washing etc. which they might have been doing since the start, and will probably continue doing for the rest of their life.
wondered what was driving them.
how would it be to get up every morning,following the same exhausting schedule day after day,knowing that its not going to change ever!
just the need to be able to feed self and family??
wondered if it bothered them...
or had they just gone cold over the monotony?
could the monotony have driven them to insist that their children get a better life?
have they done anything to see to it that the next generation live better?
could the want for the better next generation be driving them?

(from old blog)

its beautiful

wondered...
how it would be to live the life of a snake
all the world black and white,
all around the creepy silence,
be alerted by just the sensations on the skin,
be driven by vibrations and hunger,
and live by pure instinct.

just the first condition of living in black and white hits. yes its matters.. color!
it defines the mood, the feel, the first impression.its what strikes the subconscious.
the clearness of the water,
the tinge of orange in the yellow flower,
the streak of white clouds in the blue sky,
the silver lining in the gray clouds,
the green on the cricket field,
the pink on the cheeks,
the orange sunset,
the blue sea,
the white sand...
the different wavelenghts make a difference,
and the ability to see them even more,
colors...
bring out the beauty.


(from old blog)

the first tshirt i painted (for one of my bestest friends)...
















the second one (for the same friend).....

the third (for another friend from the whole group).....

..........

suddenly feel like i want to hold dad's finger and walk down the beach with the waves touching up our feet and the sun setting at the horizon...not looking at the sun... just walking and letting it be visible from the corner of the eye...

pink of health???
:(
no!

hearing you

i maybe drunk,
i maybe high,
i maybe lost,
tired enough to die...
but listening to your voice,
takes it all away,
all the high is gone.

its a different kick,
its a different feel,
when the tears roll down the cheeks,
though its not that big a deal.

cant explain the pain,
maybe theres none,
just a gentle reminder,
that how much ever i loved it,
its is actually over and done!


(from old blog)

YOU

are to me...
like the sound of distant music,
like the ruffle of wrapping paper,
like the mischief in the corner of the eye glance,
like the smell of moist soil after the first drizzle,
like the gleam of the mist on fresh green grass,
like the skipped heartbeat when surprised,
like the chill down the spin when there is breath on the neck,
like the sea water gently beating on the rocks,
like the whistle of the windstorm through a crack in the window,
like the grey in the sky just before dawn,
like the reflection of moonlight on water,
like the tinge of orange in a yellow flower...
the unconscious or the faraway or the unnoticed or the mystery or the not understood...
but still there,
to bring in that faint instinctive smile

(from old blog)

dont

so you wanna be my messenger?
you wanna help?
walk across the desert...
onto the side
people think is better than mine.
what do you wanna carry?
all the love?
or all the hatred?
why?
why do you wish to go where you cant?
why do you offer to carry a weight you cannot?

(from old blog)

?

the little pretty bird on the window pane,
comes chirps,makes me smile,
want him to stay longer..
so i could just sit and stare,
listen to him and see the pretty colors.
like a pretty dream,
but all pretty never lasts.
the birdie has a nest to keep,
and will not stay by me forever.
flies off.
i put the bread crumbs along the window sill,
hoping it'll attract him to come again.
just for a lil while.
there are times when he comes (and i smile again)and others when he does not and the crumbs dry up(and i decide i wont wait longer{only to wait more}).
wait...
wait for the birdie to come.
to make me smile..
how long is this going to last?
why am i giving him my food?
why do i want him arnd?
why am i ready to spend my time just to keep looking at him?
why should the bird keep coming at my window?
is it just for the bread crumbs?

thank you

i walk out of the house today to get to work,did not feel too good in the morning as i'm not keeping very well and all i've been doing at home is sleeping.was not in the best of moods...
walk into the basement, the two old men are exchanging their shifts(watchmen of the building) they look at me and one abruptly stops the conversation they're having and starts moving. the other tries to tell me somthing i dont understand. the first one without stopping his motion exclaims to him tht i dont understand kanada. i'm a little lost and try to fingure wht the old man might have wanted to say to me early in the morning.
and suddenly i see him walking towards me with this big bright red envelop.i dont even remember the thought that came into my mind but i know that that very instant i was grinning.took it, opened it. a pretty diwali greeting with a beautiful post card form one of the locations this friend had travelled. it was lovely. a very sweet greeting with handwritten notes.almost felt as if i could hear him talk to me. :)
it did make my day! and am all smiles ever since.
(have got a such greetings in the last few days and the very fact that someone's thght of you inspite of them being with their loved ones in the midst of all the festivities means a lot. yes they've all made me feel loved. thank them all :) )
no it does not have to be grand,
it does not have to be your sweetheart,
its does not have to be expensive,
its just one hand written note,
saying that you are remembered,
a friend who's cherished.
makes you feel, its a beautiful world.

its here when you are not

music...
its the solution,
its the mood,
its the pulse,
its freedom,
its expression,
its love,
its passion!

its life afterall :)



(from old blog)

during one boring session at work...

was starving during this session and as visible was throughly bored........ so...

( a lil over a month back)

tester

hoping to get time to write here.....well a start it is..