i miss

home

pangea day

if you've not been a part of this, you really have missed something.
pangea day was celebrated throughout the world on the 10th of may. it was one large global screening of these really amazing set of films, being watched by people ALL over the world at the same time.
it was one BIG audience.
i must say, it was a brilliant idea, and was really really well done.
amazing is not the word to express enough for the films that were screened. thankfully for all those who were not able to make it, the films are available online on pangeaday.org.
creativity personified.
the idea of getting the world to come together and see and feel what people in the other parts think and believe and feel, was absolutely amazing.
Do see: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CMQLwhwySs

to the angel...

whatever i may do will not be enough to thank her.

WoW!!

if you've been in India a while you've sure seen kids come up to you and beg(its really really sad that they are made to do it) for money and/or food...
but today...
this kid came up, and asked for a book!

think time

walking to places you want to go,definately gives you a lot of thinking time.

silence!!! the court is in session!

last weekend was time for another play. and this time a GOOD one.

we went for this play called 'silence! the court is in session!' an english translation of an originally marathi play.

i think it was a really really well written play, and the actors enacted it really well. held our attention for the whole duration. they made us laugh, wonder, feel sad, angry all in those 2 hours.

everyone from the lead lady, to the village bumpkin, to the lawyer, to the lady who mocked, they were all perfect!

the play made me think again about how easily we form our middle class notions and even if we believe otherwise, how difficult it is to oppose them. how naturally we believe things to be good, and how easy it is to get into trouble and noone will give you the benefit of doubt.

i think we should all get to see more of these.

thanks to aayisha for getting taking us along to watch this one, and a spl thanks to Harish who was a part of this. :)

worrying me sick!

inefficient time management and global warming

power!

well the power of power was made known to us in the last 24 hrs.
us being residents of kormangla 4th block, blore. a little heavy rain last evening...am guessing caused a tree to fall and cut off the electricity of the entire area!
so no power whole of last evening, whole night and no power during the day either. luckily i was in office during the day.
while walking home from work, i saw my area dark and asked the shop keeper 'power cut today also??' he said there has been no power since yesterday!!! and there was no expecting it to be around till tomorrow morning! luckily its here and now after 24hrs and we're breathing a sigh of relief.
but 24 hrs was MORE than enough to bring life to a stand still...
there was NOTHING anyone was able to do....
we could not even sleep in peace!leave aside the fan, the mosquito repellent also works on electricity!!!!!

LOOKING FOR A SPOILER????

!!!

solitude beckons...

another kind of silence...

another kind of peace...

another kind of storm,

another kind of grief

to mr. ditcher

probably haven't spent more convincing someone!
probably noone's made us wait longer.
probably noone's been happier for us.
probably noone's made us grin wider.

when you cant sleep

so when you cant sleep what do you do?
do you blame it on the empty stomach?
or on the fuller heart?
do you blame it on the warm weather?
or on the mosquitoes that dart?
do you blame it on no company?
or on the thoughtless mind?
do you blame the book for not being boring?
or the pillow for not being the softest find?
or do you just let the excuses be?
but what the hell!!!!! the one in office tomorrow has to be ME!!!

thank you

the days when we've had a NICE meal, served to us with care and affection, i guess are the days we sleep with a smile on our face.

thanks to the SO many angels, for giving me one more day when I've slept with a smile on my face.

:)

all we want is all we'll have...

happy feet???????

two feet away from comfort,
two feet away from peace,
swell, ache, itch, pain!!!!!!
sigh!
two feet away from ease.


well the above 4 lines and piece of art are a tribute to my super painful feet(probably the most painful two feet in the world!!!!!!! )

grrrrrrrrrr

i HATE waiting!!!

plays...

theater...

to me, is creativity personified.

the art to be able to make a person sitting right in front of you see, believe and feel what you want him/her to. you have to do it right there... in flesh and blood, without the luxury of the movies where you can correct your mistakes. no technology can come to your rescue here, one moment of being out of the character, one fumble in dialogue, the link you establish with the audience is gone.

having said that...

we went for this set of two plays... Mouse and Positions at the rangashakara last Saturday.

i was not impressed.

They did play around with the lighting, and the dialogues, but there was an absolute lack of creativity. No emotions,no drama, no story.

Mouse: was a different concept so to speak, but just did not drive home a point. no ACTING... just dialogue narration.

Positions: was a combination of 6 plays(situations enacted), not interlinked. no story just situations picked up from daily life and enacted, no motive, no connection.

was quite disappointed. but then being to rangashankara, seeing it for myself how the place(a dream brought to life) has taken shape was an experience in itself.

resurrected

the smell of the first rain,

the sound of the cracking cane,

the warm bed in winter,

the feel of the mischievous whisper.

the light smile they all evoke...

the moments pass and you cant revoke.

but i want to...

i want to relive yesterday...

freeze the moment,

and recall whenever i wish i may.

may not be that simple...

but it sure is fine,

i know every bit of it was and will always be mine :)

SO not done.

trust me, haggling with auto drivers is the last thing you want to do if you are in Bangalore. and its sure going to be a nightmare if you end up in a situation when you have to do it after eight in the night.

these are the times when you SO miss a city like Bombay. where you know for sure, that the system is in place to facilitate your movement and not to take advantage of the fact that the distance you want to cover is not something you can do by yourself or don't have the time to just walk it up.

just landed in Bangalore and cant find a prepaid stand?

car's just broken down and you need to go to a place near by?

getting late to work and your bus stop is alteast 15 mins by walk?

ITS RAINING!!!????

got one extra 2 kg bag with you???

rest assured you are going to be charged 1.5 times the standard rates if not more.

and of course the icing comes if all this happens after 8 in the night. God help you if there is a combination!

:)

thought i could'nt grin wider when i was going to sleep...
but i WAS when i woke up :)

uncomfy!

the warm weather ...

and in this night of unreliable power...

i suffer with a clogged nose, sore throat, blocked ears and eyes that water.

Din!

its like a dark heavy cloud slowly descending on me...

that big heavy gray ball of cotton just coming down on me...

slowing covering me, so slow that i don't even realise i could panic, i just wait there till it overlaps me, i don't even make an attempt to run.

enveloped, I'm cold, suffocating...all i see is gray. everything's dull and gloomy. cant associate it to anything negative, cant blame anything or anyone.

then just hope its just tiredness, and that cold and sore throat taking a toll and probably its not time to frown, but just get some good sleep.

fit?

wont the theory of the survival of the fittest hold good only in the land of equal opportunity? what if you are born and brought up just to get butchered? to who is that strongest chick going to show her strength and prove that she's fit to survive, if all she's there for is be killed and become someone's meal? being leaner or fitter just does not make any difference!
or does the test of fitness hold irrespective of situation...maybe fit's not just physical fitness... should that chick have developed intellectual capability to figure that she's gonna be killed and then planned her escape! maybe ya... more so she'd survive only if she knows how in the world outside... maybe that IS the case... that's the only way species could and would EVOLVE.
thats the theory of EVOLUTION...
fit baby...NO excuses.

nazar na lage!

safed teeka!

too late hun?!?

yay!

its grinning time! :)eeeeeeee

not for no reason at all...

not that alls super cool...

its just grinning time

Delusion Angel

phew!
was just made to see this movie called "before sunrise".i knew before i watched it that it was a regular romantic movie.somehow i was kinda weary to watch it but also curious.
when someone said romantic movie... i was always reminded of "love actually" , "pretty woman" , "notting hill" and "sweet november". though they were all different they all somehow invoked a similar kinda feeling in me.
the strange "not so real", "very very sweet" kinda feeling.it was weird and somehow i don't get too excited about watching such movies.
then today i saw this movie.it was quite unreal. but there was something strange and different about it. it was just about this one day two people spend together. and other than the scenic locales(are always there in the hindi movies... but i think it would be really really close to a sin if i start comparing)...so other than the scenic locales there nothing really in the movie but pure conversations. its stunning how they manage to hold your attention. how you end up thinking, and smiling and frowning just listening to two other people talking. its not even too much action, no singing and dancing and watching some funky play or anything of the sort... its just two people walking in the streets and having a conversation.
i did not think something of this sort would ever appeal to me. but somehow its lingering. some parts which seems so normal when i saw them come back and all i can do is try to fill in some reason into my thoughts but all i do is WOW. strange that something that simple is sticking.i HAVE to mention this piece of poetry that was from it...its beautiful!
its called Delusion Angel -By David Jewell

No, no is not my favourite word!

make your wish?

when i was a little kid in school, someone sometime told me that we should cross our fingers and make a wish when we see a red mail van(wonder why the emphasis on "red", aren't they always red?). after crossing fingers and making a wish we ought not say a word and should wait for a black car to pass. on seeing a black car we could uncross our fingers and are allowed to talk. its said our wish would be granted.
as strange as the whole ritual is, i would see a red mail van and follow it religiously.i would cross all my fingers... two two pairs on each hand and make 4 wishes. :O
somehow was always in desperate need of good marks, some test or the other always being round the corner or just gotten over! or someone presentation or performance or SOMETHING was always there to wish for.
somehow ever since i started working i haven't really seen too many "red mail vans". i really don't remember seeing any in my one and a half years in Mysore and a little over one year in Bangalore.
but in the last two weeks i have seen "red mail vans" every now and then and have somehow been tempted to cross my fingers and make a wish.
maybe these times when all you can do is wait and watch and hope things turn your way, are the times when you are subconsciously on the look out for the "red mail van"...

...

travel: when?
audit: why?
calicut: kidding!
cramps: no :(!
wedding: food!
tension: little!
sorry: mom
goa: dream
march: does not seem like
appetite : lost
sweet: Jaw
sleep: needed
idle: cant stay
gotto go: NOW!

aaaarrrrgghhh!!!!!!!!

Today is SO not my day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yooooooohooooooooo!!!!!!!!

went parasailing this sunday!

was quite an awesome experience.

a very simple sport,almost nothing the participant has to do other than hang onto the parachute and ENJOY!!!!!!!!!

the wind...

the height...

the view...

:) :)

which corner?

and then there are times when all you want to do is wipe away everything and start afresh...
and then there are times when all you want is icecream...
and then there are times when everything is hazey...
and then there are times when the world is beautiful...
and then there are times when everyone seems pretty...
and then there are times when everything seems like one big mess...
and then there are time when you feel its just the begining...
and then there are times when you feel its all coming to an end...
and then there are times when you when u want the noise...
and then there are times when you want to keep saying...
and then there are times when you want to just shut up.

wish me luck!

i'm all ready to ruin some GOOD paper!
sigh!

homesick

wish one could take a pill and feel ok. :(

i believe the non believers when they say dont have faith.
its a little sad to be convinced about the conviction with which they refuse the comfort.

why?

listen...
to understand
talk...
to educate
ask...
to learn
draw...
to express
watch...
to be entertained
read...
to not have to say 'i dont know'

well thats just one for each.

way to go!

headache-chumantar!

disprin...
the best pill in the world!

today was mango duet day!
yay!
slurp!
:)

when the high is actually a low,
the yes is actually a no.
when closed eyes see the most,
and everybody is a ghost.
when i turn to you to see the light,
the water there blurs the sight.
stay put or give up the fight?

passing time?

weekend...
-Dus Khaniyan
-Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikandar
-Halla Bol
-Laga Chunari Mein Daag
-Wild Hogs
-Evan Almighty
-Thank You For Smoking

:):)
one for each day of the week. he he almost.

:)

and here we go again...

knowledge sharing?

:(

i had waited FOREVER...
and its already OVER!
:(

stretch the arm...
no finger tip comes to help,
call out loud...
no head turns,
the universe is expanding,
everything and everyone is moving away.
imagination does not help anymore..
distances just keeping growing longer!

its a beautiful day...

while you were sleeping...

while you were sleeping...
there was information overload
ideas hoard...
there was brainstorming,
corporate mourning...
there was customer feedback,
and motivation lack.
utilization negative...
do you really want to give?
while you were sleeping...
the day's past, its night...
armour up soldier...
its time to fight

the most frustration, annoying, irritating... grrrrrr place to ever EVER EVER develop an itch is your heel!!!!!

how do you know that the way you doing is right?
how do you know when to give up during a fight?

In reality, there is , perhaps, no one of our natural passions so hard to subdue as Pride. Disguise it, struggle with it, beat it, stifle it, mortify it as much as one pleases, it is still alive and will every now and then peep out and show itself; you will see, perhaps, often in this history; for , even if I could conceive that I had completely overcome it, I should probably be proud of my humility.
-Benjamin Franklin

little more...

so much to do so little time.
if just a few more hours in this day of mine...
Might be enough.
fitting it all might not seem so tough.
maybe then i'll be a little more at ease...
or maybe then more will come,
maybe the desire for more will never really cease

RAINS....

not something the city of bangalore can handle...
sigh!

Identities...

was reading this article sometime last week, about a man, "Mr Thambi" a tamilian settled in one of the islands of trinidad, and thought i HAD TO mention this part of it:
"In Trinidad, Thambi Ramaswamy's grandson-in-law Ramish is a non-practising Chirstian. Ramish's sister Shakila is a practising Muslim, while his hindu daughter is married to a Muslim. However for them these distinctions do not matter; because they are all Indians."
:)

two more...

tshirts i painted
for prashant :)

in disguise...

slight drizzle in the morning...
sat in the bus and scanned the scene outside.
the overcast made it look like you were looking at everything through tinted glass.
the crowd in the street, the people the vehicles all moved through the damp surroundings trying not to let it affect their daily chores.then looked towards the sky... plain gray empty.. a complete contrast to the scene below...scanned it to check for something different from the thick gray layer of clouds...saw the sun...behind the clouds, almost looked like the moon.

missed again! :(

forgetful?
generally not...
happened for the third time!
feel more miserable than ever.
reason?
cant pick out one.
not that it was not important.
not that it meant nothing.

feeling worse than ever...
will they forgive?
i think never.

unconference

i know i'm a little late in posting this but wth, better late than never
barcamp bangalore:
i attend my first barcamp this july.
was quite taken by surprise, SO many people, so many diverse topics.
quite amazed by how good people are at what they are and how little i know even about the things i thought i knew.
was really cool how people came forward and spoke on and how much knowledge can be exchanged in so little time. though primarily it was to do with technology,collectives about photography and startups were also really really interesting(spent most of my time there)
the place to be for networking.wish i were feeling better than what i was on the second day to be able to stay there longer.

why?

its really sad when someone is not allowed to carry on with something they really really are passionate about.
worst is when the reason is something related to self that prevents you from carrying on...
have friends...
- a runner... has run many half marathons and a couple full ones. running gives him joy...unparalleled by any activity i can remember. injures back... advised by doctors not to run a couple of months.
was almost like asking him not to breath!
- a football player... not seen someone as passionate about a game as this guy. the game can take him in and out of depression.seems like anything or anyone he loves with his heart and soul even could not be anything more than a second love. knee injury... doctors say dont play... like taking a life away..
- a dancer... better than any other. dont need to elaborate the magic in dance and music do i? accident... no dancing anymore!

wonder what really goes into the making of God's master plan.
how strong really is the man?

greens...

have always noticed the different shades of green on the trees and plants.

Had once attended a talk in school when we were in the 10th std. it being our board exam year, the talk was about how we should keep a schedule and study regularly.dont rememeber most of the tips and tricks that were told to us, but for this one which is still fresh.
the lady giving the talk said, in the morning when you wake up to study, and are struggling to keep your eyes open, go out into your balcony and stare into the trees/plants:The green color has a quality that makes you feel fresh and energetic.
dont know how true it was and how much it actually works.
but i know that its the greens,the foliage, the views from hill tops showing vast forests that give me this strange feeling which definately fits into the 'fresh/energetic/positive' category. :)

ray...

brighter than sunshine...
come light up my day,
warm as home,
just that single ray...
do i just lay in your path?
or was i your destination right from the start?
with the darkness away all seems clear...
it all being a dream, an illusion is what i fear.

Addiction.....

how helpless??

everytime i go a wee bit away from my normal routes without my own means of transport,
the city makes me feel like i'm handicapped without it!

entangled..

all messed up...
nothing seemed right.
to win one,
lost every other fight.
all for one!
from what are we to run?
can take what happened last?
can really keep the fast?

back to board games :)

cool coffee shop that lets you play!
that is "blokus" there !
me wins with the read and blue....
i did loose the game before this,
but wth, end in a win!
sure was a struggle with mouleesha boy,he keeps thinking you're distracting him if you start to talk!
phew!
good fun none the less.
what say "Mr. Dileep 'i play defensive' Mouleesha"
;)
:p

till a while back i thought the vocab and language you speak could be influenced by the way people around you talk...
now i know a book can do it too :)

2 day weekend????

-after ages at mac donald's! COKE FLOAT it is!
-home made food... roommate's folks over.
-paint ball...pheW! Ouch!
-Zorbing... whoa!
-bungee jumping... whoooaaaaaaaa!!!!!
-sun burnt!...tough as it maybe to believe i CAN get redder! :p
-seeing off closest friend at work... :( :(
-11 hours sleep... after ages!!!!!!!!
-planetariam! THE place to be!
-five hours with a five year old...did not even realise how they went.
-dinner buffet at chancery...more than 10 choices for dessert!! what else can one ask for?
-miles of driving! WAH!


monday morning now..
sigh!
back to work....

all the time

The silence of a falling star
Lights up a purple sky
And as I wonder where you are
I'm so lonesome I could cry...



(unoriginal)

have been waiting for long,
forever unsure...
ignoring all,
for that one untainted and pure...
always seemed round the corner,
never came along..
should i wait a little longer?
move in the direction my feet were caught?
or stick around for my reflection to talk?

i'd rather take the trouble than bear the guilt...

sigh!

last evening got first dose of mango this season...
a fruit like non other.
courtesy, beautiful charming lady with two adorable kids in a warm house.

quietened by the enthusiam.
starved after the dessert.

the decisions you make, determine the person you are.

:p

hungry......
reading stored procedure..
tastes inner joins and where conditions..
yum!!

repeat the mistake,
give up the faith,
reinvent the belief...
who's looking for relief?
detour through the dreams,
redefine the superstition,
revise the repetition...
so when do we start the mission?

all the time??

i miss MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!!

nightmares to be

i'm going to start getting nightmares about these now.

i JUST CANT get past that big red hold. ya ya its cool that i've atleast managed to reach that hold.but i just freeze there!!! tried both the approaches to get past but i just cant move once i'm there. Grrrr!!!!
so much for the wall climbing.
i'm to heavy to pull myself up!!!
someday... (hopefully soon)

the requirements gathering has gone on for ever now. all the delay when we try think of the reason, seems ok the way things are for all the stakeholders but damn does it not fizzle out all the enthu??(was there enough enthu in the first place :|)

not been to the cinema for a movie in the past month and a half! love the movies....damn wht am i doing?????

random thoughts

-jungle calling.
-cant you control.
-cant you let go?
-sleep?
-new shoes :)
-absolute vodka
-inhale the exhaust
-airbus
-leech bites
-how far is diwali!
-company:so much for eating.
-prettiest people are most lonely
-you want me to prove it to you again?
-transfered revenue
-half hour talk to dissolve 2 months of clogged thoughts.
-impossible is nothing

while commuting....

no rain, no pain...

one life, do more.....

(unoriginal)

???

can feel a hollow,
you just make a sound,
and she'll follow.
gives in to not see you frown,
to get anointed with the princess crown.
get followed by the shadow,
as the path gets so narrow.
its catching up on her heal,
tough to narrate how she feels.
with every passing moment,
is it the right way it should've been spent?

response

somebody help!
she's in pain,
so what if you cant hear her complain?
cant you see it in those eyes?
that they were not too wise,
followed a stranger's stare,
thinking it was genuine care.
now as they look up in despair,
please ignore the clothes and the hair.

when was the last time i was moved?
or not paying attention to myself brood?
honestly speaking i hear the cry loud,
be it me alone or in the middle of the crowd.
then in the night get home and think,
how can i let myself sleep even a wink?

its the larger thing you target,
there is a root to everything dont you forget.
no cry forgotten,
none in the back of the mind rotten!
sooner or later it'll materialise,
and then will come the things that are larger than life

remember

-always cut toe nails before trekking.
-climb down is not always simpler than climbing up.
-u ain't there untill u are there...
-there is only one way to find out if u can do it...
-its all in the mind!
-you dont know what you are missing unless you've seen it.
-false summits make reaching the summit the most satisfying feeling.
-self is the toughest one to convince, if i can take the fact that i've given up, its not me!
-you dont the magic of the smaller half steps.
-WATER: the best thing on the planet!




learnt, post waynad trek :)
31st march - 1st april 2007

lost?

walked straight into the high,
yes no alcohol the day was dry!
when logic and reason seem to die,
cant dare to shut the eye!
there never seems enough time,
to stop and say its not mine.
caught the rainbow in a drop,
imagined the run,skip and hop.
finally there's music for the soul,
the desert rose in full bloom stands there all alone!

waiting in a lie..
waiting for hope to die.
and when its gone,
maybe i'll still wonder what when wrong.
with every push moves closer to the edge of the rack,
once off the limit, sorry never coming back.

happy birthday!

prashant and anu went up the hill,

reached the top?

hah! they never will!

pail of water?

they'd rather have a quarter!

who fell down?

and where's the crown!?

twist in the tale! ;)

cut the cake,

its party time forever after!!!!!

:p:p

to the first guy i've know,

with whom i've played and grown...

to the softest heart,

which melts even before my tears start...

to the brightest eyes,

which have hidden my countless lies...

to the bestest brother,

i'd give up the world for none other...

cheers!

happy birthday!

have been doing lots of things off late.
have'nt had a free weekend since the new year!have something lined up almost all the time, not that i mind it...
maybe thats the way i like it,
maybe i make it a point that it is like that.
sitting idle is somthing i can't take, i think so ;).

energy!
running out of it i think.....
dont seem to have enough sleep!
so dead by the end of the day.
with all the fun stuff that is being done.... there are chores that are to be done too....

long for warmth in this heat,
for food after a meal..
for sleep after waking up...
well!
homesick! :(

HOLI HAI!!!!!!!!!!!

colors!

in celebration,

of the not known,

day of birth,

a day late

the routine,
the regularity,
the faith,
and the belief.
wish for disciplined existence.
maybe not strong enough,
maybe just right to make us tough.

if only i could dream things into life.!

?

do u sink in,
or spiral down?
bring it on...
lets try and recall.
the effects of the high
on this porcelain doll

random thoughts:up there all at once

• the ocean trapped in the seashell.
• to the moon and back.
• breakfast alone.
• ireland.
• Dam:hazelnut eyes
• i dont understand!!!!!!
• where's the mirage?
• dont you believe in subtlety?
• what made you think life was simple?
• samjhauta express...
• and what made you think your life was tuff?
• iron maiden.
• lost again or are you winning all the time?

weekend movies..... and the lines lingered

rocky balboa:
-fighters fight!

-life's not all sunshine and rainbows..

-It ain't about how hard you hit, it is about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much can you take and keep moving forward.

omkara:
(dont remember exactly but somthing like this)
-tumhare naam ki bindi lagaye a jaate hain hum nange haath, par aagni se bhi paar ho jaaye toh bhi dagi hi rehete hain, sagi kabhi nahi ban paate.

expressed the desire,
narrated the request,
silence in expectation,
then came the glare,
the complain,
and finally the threat!
but nothing worked!
no reaction...
talking to God!
who are you to expect?

||

like twin mirrors placed face to face,
their reflections doubling back,
they had seen themselves in earnest for the first time,
and a thousand strong.

twisted the song just a little tini mini bit ;)

hey mr tambourine man
last song for me!
i am sleepy,
and there are place i've to go....
:P
but still...
mr tambourine man!
last song for me..
in the jingle, jangle morning
i come following you........

read?

i just finished yet another book and started a new one.(ha that makes me sound like quite a reader which i'm not... but yes even though i dont read too much its something i'd do instead of nothing)
the subjects i read are varied...anything light works.
as i put down the last book i wondered how what i read influences me? its either a whole new world, somthing i've never come across,was never exposed to.. or its another dimension to the line of thought i had about something.depending on the skill of the writer my point of views get influenced by varying degrees.well is'nt that the objective they had in mind when they started printing? to influence the point of view? to tell people what they not aware of?
on after thoughts...
do WELL WRITTEN books expand your thinking? or do they block it?

caution!

LASCIATE OGNE SPERANZA, VOI CH'INTRATE


Well not really
:)

good morning

the bus rocks,
the buttermilk sky soothes,
the passing trees and buildings build the monotony.

time to sleep :)

the chronic smile